The Dumb Network >> FAQ >> Squeeze Drinks Review

FAQ - Squeeze Drinks Review

We know you have questions, so we've done our best to anticipate them and answer them here! We also have a general network FAQ if you'd like to read about the Dumb Network. If you have a question not answered here, we'd love to hear it!

Question: What is a squeeze drink?

Answer:Any drink that is squeezed for consumption (i.e. Capri Sun, Kool Aid Bursts, etc.)

Question: How do you review the drinks?

Answer:First we chill the drinks in a standard kitchen refrigerator. Then We use tasteless, salt less saltine crackers to clear our palate before testing. After having a few sips of the drink we conduct our review. Finally, we have more crackers to ready our palates for the next drink.

Question: What does retail price mean?

Answer:The price we paid for the package of drinks at the supermarket. You should be able to purchase the drinks for approximately the same price depending on store and/or location.

Question: What size lunchbox did you use for testing?

Answer:A standard issue 7 ¾” x 6” x 3” metal Incredible Hulk lunch box with single metal-clasp closure.

Question: How did you test lunchbox durability?

Answer:We placed the drink inside the lunchbox and closed it. Then we proceeded to drop the lunchbox from heights and kick it around violently. This test was designed to simulate the abuses the drink could undergo during a typical day at school.

Question: How did you test insulation?

Answer:We froze the drinks and let them sit at room temperature for four hours. After four hours, a subjective review of the drink’s condition was written. This was designed to simulate a frozen drink being packed in a lunch in the morning to be consumed at lunch time.

Question: What if there is a drink that isn’t on your site?

Answer:Please send us an email at and tell us the name of the product as well where we can find it.

Question: Do you recycle the packages after you are through with them?


Question: When will you get new drinks?

Answer:As soon as I finish the 360 pack I bought at Costco....

Question: Are you sponsored by any large juice corporation to portray their product in a better light?

Answer:No, we are solely funded by our own pockets.